Over the past few years, I have moved from being a performance coach to a transformational coach, and that is changing who wants to work with me, or perhaps I should say, it is changing the clients that I am attracting.

As a performance coach, I was super happy to share tools, frameworks and models with my clients on running better meetings, making smarter decisions, giving better feedback and delegating with more skill. Progress was easy to track, and results were fast. Since becoming a coach in 2008, I have worked with more than 100 organizations and I continue to work with some powerful organizations in the world, like the University of Oxford and YPO.

While I certainly still use those frameworks to help my clients achieve success, I’m much more interested in what constitutes success. What are their dreams are and where they come from? That is at the core of transformational coaching which can lead to a radical reorientation of your life.

Working with my transformational coach means that I now live every day in active creation of my life. That is a sentence I didn’t understand until I turned a 50. What does it mean to live in active creation of your life every single day?

When I meet potential clients, what I’m most interested in talking about is the life they want to live. At their most profound level, who are they and what do they feel called to do? What are the choices they are making and where do those choices come from? Sometimes people ask, what would you do if you knew you would not fail. I like to know what you would do even if you knew you would fail.

If you are seeking transformational coaching, it may mean a radical reorientation of your life, especially if you are out of integrity with yourself. If you’re not sure about that, start auditing your life and notice your feelings. If you can, track what you are doing and how it makes you feel. How are you showing up to your life, and what are the stories you are telling about the way you show up?

If you don’t like how your audit turns out, it might be time to seek help and summon the courage to do the deep work. Courage is required because if you’re like me, you might see that you’ve been clinging to things because you think they make you feel safe, loved and like you belong.

Transformational work requires us to get clear on how things make us feel; and, spoiler alert, you may discover that what you think you makes you feel safe isn’t actually making you safe, and where you think you belong might actually just be you doing a stellar job at fitting in.

Transformational coaching is not linear, it is emergent. It’s hard to predict how long it takes for people to change and we must let the process unfold. Sometimes our only step is the next step because there is no going around what might be in the way. There is only going through it.

We also need time to cultivate a boundless reservoir of self-compassion. That part is non-negotiable because you may discover some parts of you in the shadows that are less integrated and a little scary. Self-compassion is how you love and support yourself through transformation.

Here are some of the steps I take when doing transformational work with my clients.

Find Your North Star

Using imagination, intuition, inspiration and a set of guiding principles or values, envision the life of purpose that you want to live. This is transformational for anyone who hasn’t done it. Prior to experiencing transformational coaching myself, the only path I followed was the one that offered the illusion of love, safety and belonging. I say it was an illusion because I didn’t know what it meant to feel self-love, safe in my own being and what it has meant to belong to myself.

Engage in Radical Self Inquiry

What are your old operating systems? What are they telling you to do to stay safe? The things about your current life that you don’t like, ask yourself how you have contributed to creating them. With self-compassion, acknowledge and love all that you are with the knowledge that your behavior was learned, maybe handed down from another generation, maybe modeled by your own caregivers from a time before you can even remember. Whatever it is, say yes to it. This is how I’m showing up to my life.

Replace Old Stories with New Ones

To set a new course, we must get clear on the old stories we are telling ourselves, and believe we deserve to tell a new story. Our North Star is our intention and we when we live in integrity with those commitments to being, we can begin to tell new stories of our lives. As the novelist John Barthes once wrote, “the stories of our lives are not our lives, they’re stories,” and you get to write the story of your life. This also means learning to recognize when the old stories are rearing their heads, and finding a voice to respond to them that says something like, “thank you for looking out for me, but I got this.” Return to your North Star and your values.

Practice Awake Awareness

In transformational coaching, we learn to not only live into our vision for our life now, but also to be mindful of the present. To be in active creation of our life every day requires us to notice how things are occurring to us moment by moment. What is happening and how is it making me feel? When you change the way you look at things, it changes the way things look. If you are interested in exploring real transformation, I would love to hear from you. Yes, I’ll still help you be a better leader, but you’ll become a better leader because you are becoming a better human being.

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Understanding and aligning with your core values is a critical step in achieving personal growth and success. Core values are the fundamental beliefs that guide our behaviors, decisions, and interactions. When we are clear about what we value most, we can live more authentic lives and make choices that bring us closer to our true selves and our goals.

What Are Core Values?

Core values are the principles that you hold most dear, guiding your actions and serving as a compass in both your personal and professional life. These values might include integrity, compassion, reliability, or innovation, among others. They are deeply personal and can vary significantly from one person to another.

Why Core Values Matter

Core values serve as a foundation for how you engage with the world and make decisions. Here’s why they are crucial for personal growth and success:

1. Decision-Making: Core values provide a framework for making decisions. When faced with choices, reflecting on your values can guide you to the decision that best aligns with your true self.
2. Sense of Identity: Values help solidify your sense of self. Knowing what you stand for can boost your confidence and self-esteem, contributing to a more stable and grounded identity.
3. Consistency and Integrity: Living in accordance with your values leads to consistency in your actions and interactions. This alignment enhances your integrity, as others come to know what you stand for and can trust in your consistency.
4. Goal Pursuit: Core values can inspire and motivate you to pursue your goals. When your objectives are aligned with your values, you’re more likely to pursue them with enthusiasm and persistence.
5. Relationships: Sharing common values can deepen relationships, whether they are personal or professional. Values alignment helps build trust and mutual respect, forming the basis for strong, lasting connections.

Discovering Your Core Values

Identifying your core values isn’t always straightforward. It often requires deep reflection and honesty. Here are some steps to discover and define your own core values:

1. Reflect on Influential Experiences: Think about significant moments in your life—what values were present or lacking in those moments? For example, consider a time when you felt particularly fulfilled or proud. What value was being honored then?
2. Consider the People You Admire: Reflect on the qualities of people you most admire. What values do they embody? Often, the traits we admire in others are values we wish to embody ourselves.
3. Analyze Your Joy and Frustration: Look at what makes you happiest and most frustrated in both your personal life and career. Often, these emotions are triggered by aligning with or violating your core values.
4. Prioritize Your Values: List your potential values and prioritize them. Which values are truly non-negotiable? Remember, having too many core values can dilute their power. Aim to identify around five key values that are most important to you.

Living Your Core Values

Once you’ve identified your core values, the next step is to integrate them into your daily life. This integration can look like:

• Setting Goals Based on Values: Ensure that your goals reflect your values. This alignment makes the pursuit of these goals more meaningful and satisfying.
• Making Decisions with Values in Mind: Use your values as a guide when making decisions, large and small. This practice helps you maintain integrity and alignment in your life’s path.
• Communicating Your Values: Share your values with others. This transparency can help build relationships and environments that support mutual growth and understanding.
• Review and Adapt: As life changes, so might your values. Regularly review your values to ensure they still represent who you are and who you want to be.

Understanding and living according to your core values is not just about achieving success; it’s about creating a life that feels meaningful and fulfilling. By staying true to your values, you can navigate life with greater purpose and clarity, leading to profound personal and professional fulfillment.

Exploring Your Core Values

Interested in discovering your own core values and learning how they can propel you towards personal and professional success? We invite you to download our free Core Values Discovery Guide. This comprehensive guide provides detailed steps and exercises to help you identify and embrace your core values, ensuring every decision and goal aligns with what truly matters to you.

Download Your Free Guide Here

Begin your journey to a more profoundly you today!